bad days & good karma.

rough day yesterday. stop. rough day today. my college classes are starting and i'm scared as heck. mom went out of town for two days. soccer is pushing me to the breaking point already. i'm letting my best friend run for homecoming despite how badly i've always wanted to. bronson got his phone taken away for texting me. sleepless nights & complete meltdowns.

when everything in life starts to tumble around you, what happens?
you find two 25 dollar gift cards to coldstone in your glove box. kids, that's 50 dollars worth of coldstone. in a week, when you look at me and wonder why i have fetus face and why i've gained 30 pounds, you know why. i may cry, all the time, but at least i've got my ice cream to make it better.

marry me, cake batter & brownie ice cream.

in my best dress, fearless.

the homecoming get up, found here.
except, a little longer.
the date? Ruger Memmott.
i'll make sure he teaches me how to dance.

ee-cam.

lap top with ee-cam, meet college classes & frequent conversations with myself to stay sane.

except that if i'm talking to myself, it appears i've already lost my sanity.

*disregard the completely irrelevant picture.

Dear self:

Listen up kid, I know you hate school; hate being the understatement of the century. School's not your thing, I get it. But look, its your senior year. Live it up and make tons of memories. No regrets this year. Go crazy, but don't be stupid. Do what you need to do, and then with all of your spare time, do everything you've ever wanted to do. Cause eventually you will run out of chances to try new things. Love everyone. Avoid drama and gossip. Live the gospel, you'll find it makes things a LOT easier. Don't B.S. anything, do the work you are required to do and it will pay off. Make new friends and strengthen your ties with old ones. Be confident and fearless, don't let anything hold you back from being yourself. Remember compliments, and pay them often. Smile always, cause you never know who is in need of it. Listen carefully to everyone, sometimes you can read between their lines. Look to help others, service is a cure for selfishness. Sleep only when its necessary. If you lose your sanity along your journey, it's fine, most people do. Try not to steal the spotlight from anyone, envy creates enemies, let them enjoy their limelight. Date often and make sure its always the best date they've been on. Don't criticize others, you're not in their shoes. Don't get embarrassed, making a fool of yourself makes others more confident - you don't want anyone feeling worse than you do. Always uplift, never bring anyone down. Try not to make judgements or assumptions about others, you'll be wrong. Refrain from being shy, and refrain from being obnoxious; but talk to the shy, they often have a great sense of humor, and appreciate the obnoxious, at least they're entertaining. Give second chances, and thirds, and fourths. Don't make a scene if you're having a bad day. Procrastinate reasonably, it could cost you if you're not careful. Keep a schedule and stay organized. Most of all, choose to be happy under all circumstances. Be an optimist and help others find the bright side too. Any questions?

love, self.

if you go to highschool:

do a decent parking job. or, you may find yourself with one of these

love, kirsten.

it's the kind of ending you don't really want to see.

one more year of high school, and i could live without it. stress is taking a toll on me, literally. i don't need one more thing.

wanna know a secret?
i've been in and out of the hospital for months. every time a different test, a different doctor, but all coming up the same: we don't have an answer. if i am correct, insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. lets take it to the next level, i'm doing the same thing with people that are paid to give me results. all they have to say, "it's not cancer," good news, right? well, now that we've eliminated that one, we are one step closer to solving my problems.

i'm not ready for school to start. i can't handle any added stress right now. i'm seventeen years old, and i'll have gray hair before i graduate. not okay.

so, here's for help: got any stress-reducing remedies? i'm in dire need.

bliss.

i'm not a fan of clothes. you already know this.
but, let me tell you, i also hate showering. don't get me wrong, i have good personal hygiene. i just firmly believe that showers take too much of my time, and when it's been thirty minutes and i'm not finished, i'm correct. but, i may have changed my mind. kind of.

recipe for bliss:

go 4-5 day without a real shower. (almost-showers consist of me shampooing the chlorine out of my hair.) sweat gallons from soccer practice, never shave, keep your hair on top of your head, and never wear make up.

when 4-5 days are complete, proceed to take the longest shower in the world. shave & don't miss a single hair on your legs. leave your conditioner in for ten whole minutes. brush your teeth in the shower. wash your face, and use a cooling face mask. wear mascara to reduce fetus face syndrome. use lotion, that stuff that hydrates you. actually brush your hair & make it look pretty. to top it off, wear your favorite underwear. i promise, you will feel complete bliss. if you don't, try again, except don't shower for a week.

seventeen years & counting.

this is angela mikalauski.
easily one of the nicest girls you will meet.

we grew up together. literally, her parents helped raise me.

from the second we'd wake up to the second we'd fall asleep,
we were together. she was one of my best friends.
well, seventeen years later, she's heading to college.
i'm going to miss her more than anyone.
i'm going to miss sleep overs, cruising in the grand am,
lemonade stands, night games every weekend, sunday temple
trips, countless hours at the pool, and eating otter pops on her porch.
she's seen me at my worst, and pushed me through some of my

hardest times. she's irreplaceable, and i'm completely indebted.
no doubt, i'll be visiting her in vegas regularly.

she's the kind of girl that doesn't put up with any crap.
she'll stand up for you and has your back no matter if you're wrong or right.
she'll buy you ice cream when you're having a bad day,
and write you letters when you need something more.
good luck at CSN, angie. kick some softball butt.

listen up:

You know you love Pleasant Grove High School, but more than anything, you love their girls soccer team. Even more importantly, you love me. So, if you love me, help me out. Well fellow bloggers, it's fundraiser time. I've got the goods; I've got cookie dough. It's $15 per box of cookie dough you order, and there are six simply scrumptious flavors to choose from - Peanut Butter, Chocolate Chunk, M&M, Snickerdoodle, White Chocolate  Macadamia Nut, and Oatmeal Raisin. Each box contains 40 pre-cut frozen cookie dough circles. 

For college students and anyone accident-prone in the kitchen zone, this cookie dough is for you. Honestly, you're craving cookies but don't have the skill necessary to successfully make them yourself, what do you do? Oh, just pull out the frozen cookie dough, toss it on the sheet and bake. Also, notice how non-wasteful this is. You don't have to make a dozen cookies at a time just for 10 of them to go stale. Make as many or as few as you want. So convenient. 

Not a cookie fan? First: you should fix that, but, you can still help me out! Got any obnoxious little brothers or sisters between 5-14 years of age? Sign them up for the soccer clinic we will be holding next week, the 15th-19th from 9-11 each morning. It's $55 dollars and the participant gets a t-shirt at the end of camp. I've been so excited for this camp all summer, it's one of our school's most beneficial fundraisers and we'd like it to stay that way. We had nearly 150 kids signed up last summer and we are looking to reach 200 this time around. So, this is where you and I have a symbiotic relationship: i'll take your siblings off your hands for 2 hours a day if you sign them up for our Fundraiser Soccer Clinic.

If you don't have siblings, tell your neighbors, aunts, uncles, everyone.
If you don't know anyone, go make friends and tell them.

Now, if you have completely excluded yourself from both of the fundraiser options listed above because you hate cookies and have no siblings or friends with siblings, good news: You can still donate! Donations are very much appreciated and 100% of the donation money will go straight to Pleasant Grove Girls Soccer program. If you are unable to make any donations or help out with the fundraisers, wish us luck, we've got a big season ahead of us and we'd love the support!

For more information or questions,

Email at:  kirstenchaseg_[at]hotmail[dot]com
Text or Call at: [801]420-8284
Thank you so much!

the men.

the ones with irresistible cologne? my weakness.

because i'm pregnant.

joking.
don't freak out.

but, like any other girl, i'm already considering the names of all my future children.
see, you can read them, because clearly, that's exactly what you want to do for the next five minutes.

my girls:  Stella, Hazel, Charlotte, Ida, Darcelle, Gwen, Zella, Delilah, Eva, Markella, Roxanne.
notice the pattern? almost all end in ella or the 'uh' sound.

my boys:  Jett, Dane, Hudson, Jude, Dawson, Grey, Mason, Crue, Colby, Delias, Brigs, Jaxon, Charlie.
obviously i'm going to use all of those names. i'm going to have a billion kids.

typical post from a seventeen year old girl.

so, listen.

dying for a good book.
i haven't read in months.
suggestions?
any genre.
any author.

tell me a good one.
or two.
or ten.
thanks.

p.s. buy cookie dough from me & support pghs girls soccer.

so good.

"Think of the purest, most all-consuming love you can imagine. Now multiply that love by an infinite amount - that is the measure of God's love for you. God does not look on the outward appearance. I believe that He doesn't care one bit if we live in a castle or cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are are imperfect, God loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God's love encompasses us completely."

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf