About a month ago I was given the best advice by one of my favorite Seminary teachers. I had extra time between classes and showed up early to my 3rd period Seminary class. I got talking to him and told him about my plans for SUU, how I would room with my best friend, we'd go down to Lake Powell, St. George, and Vegas all the time. I talked about the scholarship I'm praying to have, and how everything would be paid for. My husband would be grateful when I walked into the marriage with no student loans and a career underway. Everything was set in stone.
He loved how I had everything planned but gave me the best advice I've ever heard.
"Be flexible," he said, "The man upstairs might have something else in store."
Here I am, maybe three or four weeks later, with zero plans. I have not finished the scholarship that could save my education - financially. I have not committed to SUU because all plans went up in the air when I got a scholarship offer from USU. Very little compared to my SUU one, but I have this nagging feeling. So, while I have not paid my committal fee to SUU, I am taking an emergency road trip with my mom to Logan tomorrow. I will spend the majority of the day on campus figuring out financial aid, and then searching for off campus housing (much cheaper.) However. I went from having everything paid for with scholarship money, to having nothing paid for, and definitely nothing figured out.
and I love it.
Obviously its a little stressful, but its bringing on a new sense of independence (and flexibility) I didn't realize I had (especially with my OCD and perfectionist characteristics). I hate not having everything planned, but right now, something is pulling me to USU.
Fingers crossed I come home tomorrow afternoon with plans for my future.
Sorry, but I like my private blog better. This blog is the red-headed step child. My private blog is where I really write everything. Freedom of speech is great, but you still get criticized for what you say. So, in order to prevent any drama, I say everything I have to say,
where nobody else has to read it. This blog, unfortunately, is unloved,
and doesn't get nearly as much attention.
I guess, I just need somewhere to write my thoughts without being disturbed.
Why not a journal? I can't stand to look at my handwriting. It's not clear enough to read anyways.
So, I apologize that my blog is particularly boring right now. But most of the things I want to say,
probably shouldn't be said for the sake of my sanity.
this is what i find myself doing after spending the last three hours unproductively on a 10 page research paper that is due tomorrow. yeah, i started last night, shut up.
and no, it didn't really help.
still as unmotivated as i was ten minutes ago when i completed page four. professor fullmer, we can't all love sentence variety and a paper free of expletives + be verbs. i'm sorry.
"kirsten, i can't wait to see who you marry. you know why? cause he'll have to be a God. seriously, i think about all the guys you've dated and none of them are good enough to be with you."
- Danica Newman
note to all boys who wish to date me: danica will decide.