i know you'll make the right choice.

never in the way we expect it, our prayers are answered.
sometimes it takes God speaking through someone else
to really get to us. sometimes we are faced with temptations
that help us find courage to make the right choices.
He does answer them though.

no matter, choices are choices. there should be no dilemma
between choosing right and wrong. you shouldn't have to
way the options or make a list of pros and cons. right is right.
wrong is wrong. don't think about it too much.

eat & be full.

now that we've solved our economic problems with chocolate.

[and ice cream for jamie] how about we solve a little world hunger 

with zupas tomato basil & ultimate grilled cheese.

zupas makes the world go round, for me at least.

it cures almost everything.

heart breaks? check.

bad days? check.

feeling like crap? check.

black hole stomach syndrome? check.

p.s. mix in the orso pasta & osiogo cheese.

that's my plug in for the day.

if pennies were hershey kisses.

money is no object to me. i probably have a hole in my pocket. it comes and goes bringing the joy of spending. my theory: lets use chocolate as money. first, it's edible. second, i hate that everything revolves around money. we'd be lots happier if everything revolved around chocolate.

Arcadius.

that's the name of the ulcer that has been eating away at my insides for a solid two and a half months. i figured, since he has no intentions of leaving, i may as well name him. today, something really upset him. i'm not entirely sure what, but the whole time i was up at kearns high, he was abusing me.

[in case anyone wanted to know varsity won 5-0 and jv won 4-0, we're good at soccer.]

ulcers. who needs them? not i.
i wish you all a happy, ulcer-free life.

are we ashes & wine?

during these adolescent years of my life, there could be nothing worse than losing a best friend. nothing more heart-wrenching, stomach-dropping, nausea-inducing than having those few words said to you. of course, i'm not sure how to handle the situation i'm in. the best way to describe it is: i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. this is how i get out.

option a:
i keep fighting for something that i want so badly to work out. a friendship that i pray can overcome anything. because after everything we've been through in the last nine months of my life, i can't see it all ending here and now. in the mean time, i lose my sanity and my self-esteem. i constantly have to push through being told everything i do wrong, everything i never did, everything that annoys him or frustrates him. or he doesn't talk to me at all. call it the 'silent treatment' or the 'cold shoulder' whatever you please. how long will i have to bear this? months maybe.

why choose option a:
because i know how painful it is to lose a best friend. whether or not he wants me, or thinks he needs me, i don't want to put him through it. i don't want anyone to have to experience that if they don't have to.

option b:
give up. [this totally is not me] leave him behind because i need to do this for myself. say goodbye because after all, insanity is the process of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. am i losing my sanity? definitely. i've gone out of my way to be his friend. to show him that i'm not giving up. to show him that i am always here for him. he doesn't appreciate it, and considers anything nice i do 'trying to get him back'.

why choose option b:
maybe i'm wasting all of my effort on trying to make this work. if someone doesn't appreciate what i do for them, why keep doing it?

perhaps a poll isn't the appropriate way to do this.
but i'm open for opinions and suggestions.
clearly, the whole story is not present here, but i need help.
do i ride it out hoping that after months of being torn down he'll come to his senses and start acting like a real friend [option a] or does it take me leaving him for him to see how important this friendship was [option b]?