surprise - we're not actually cousins.

long story, not so short:

in kindergarten, i had the biggest crush on this boy named Jacob Gibb. 

such a cutie. brown hair, brown eyes. loved him.

that is, until third grade came around, and i saw him at a funeral for someone's great grandma. i don't know who it was. i told my mom that i thought he was cute, here comes the shocker. "oh, sweetheart, Jake is your cousin,"

okay, see ya jake. i was devastated.

fifth grade rolled around, he was still cute. but then he up and moved to vegas over night. and then i never heard from him again.

lie.

in january, i remembered about my little creepy cousin crush i had in kindergarten.

i told my mom that i had forgotten him. she and i proceeded to facebook stalk.

he was no where to be found.

i began to worry he fell off the face of the planet.

we never had a real goodbye.

that was that.

about a week after our little stalking fiasco, guess who adds me on facebook?

jake gibb.

shut up.

so cousin, you're handsome. you still live in vegas. 

we caught up, and i told him he needed to come visit. he told me he'd be here during his spring break which happened to be the week following ours. he said we'd hang out for sure.

definitely didn't think it would happen.

but hey, guess who is in pg?

jake gibb.

guess who i've spent the last two days with?

jake gibb.

guess who's not actually my cousin?

jake gibb.

what?

yeah, turns out my mom meant we were kind of cousins. 

but not by blood or law. so, not cousins at all.

we just knew his family really well, and his great grandma.

good news.

want to meet him?

i stole these off facebook.

did i mention he plays guitar?

oh, and he rides bulls.

he also volunteers at an animal shelter on weekends.

no, you can't date him.

that would be weird.

hey jake, stay in pg as long as you'd like.

playing with fire.

i think i'm a thug when chamillionaire sings good morning to me.

did i mention i'll be in st. g. this week? hello, warm weather. i've missed you.

i got a slurpee last night at midnight with my new friend. it's fine.

we played a duet. me at the piano, him with his guitar.

i hate clothes. you should have figured that out by now.

my phone's battery dies so quickly that i have to have a back up battery ready.

uvu registration this week. crap.

also, i've been living off pop tarts for the last four days. it's whatever.

happy spring break.

recipe for the craziest of nights:

one cultural hall in your local stake center.

two miniature soccer goals.

10+ people

ihome & clean music.

and

socks.

the game of sock soccer is simple. everyone plays in socks.

two teams. who ever scores the most, wins. no rules, except not using your hands.

slipping, sliding, and falling on your fanny multiple times is typical.

warning: you may walk away with burns, bruises, and soccer ball welts.

it's fine. you'll love it.

have the happiest.

we can all let out that sigh of relief - spring break is finally here.

enjoy & see you in nine days.

then what?

i had the strangest thoughts come into my head just barely.

i'm sitting, just thinking.
in one month i will be seventeen.
in six months i will be a senior.
in one year i will be graduating.
in two years my friends will leave for missions.
in three years i could be teaching kindergarten.
in four years i could be getting married.
in five years i could have a family.

then what?

so much time is spent looking to the future,
what happens when we catch up with our dreams?

you get to have new dreams - d. james

gc.

general conference was incredible, yes. President Monson's talk on the temples was my favorite. i loved how he directed it straight to the youth and said, "always have the temple in sight, don't do anything that would keep you from getting there," [not word for word] he talked about how our goal should be reaching the temple and we need to be living life according. he really got me rearranging my priorities, and my lifestyle. there's a lot of changes i want to make. hopefully early morning baptisms is among them.

temple tuesdays.
[inspired by jamo]
all in favor, say i.

you be killin 'em.

lacrosse #18.

braden.

so sick. check him out.

you might need to pee like crazy.

today, i had to get an ultrasound.

which sounds weird enough as it is, but the doctor wanted to check and see

if i have a parasite or a bacteria living in my stomach. but, they ask you not

to eat anything before the ultrasound. they insist you have a full bladder though,

so i woke up at seven today and started chugging water. my appointment was at

eight:thirty. for simplicity's sake - i really had to pee. when my ultrasonographer

(i think that's what she called herself) started pushing  that goop and the camera

thingy on my pelvis, i was about to wet the bed. my mom was laughing her head off.

i might have cried, but i didn't. for the next 25 minutes of goop-rubbing and weird

black & white ultrasound picture taking, all i could think of was not peeing my pants.

i took bathroom breaks on ten minute intervals after that.

and this post, because i thought you might want to know

how often you'll have to pee if you get an ultrasound.

i know you'll make the right choice.

never in the way we expect it, our prayers are answered.
sometimes it takes God speaking through someone else
to really get to us. sometimes we are faced with temptations
that help us find courage to make the right choices.
He does answer them though.

no matter, choices are choices. there should be no dilemma
between choosing right and wrong. you shouldn't have to
way the options or make a list of pros and cons. right is right.
wrong is wrong. don't think about it too much.

eat & be full.

now that we've solved our economic problems with chocolate.

[and ice cream for jamie] how about we solve a little world hunger 

with zupas tomato basil & ultimate grilled cheese.

zupas makes the world go round, for me at least.

it cures almost everything.

heart breaks? check.

bad days? check.

feeling like crap? check.

black hole stomach syndrome? check.

p.s. mix in the orso pasta & osiogo cheese.

that's my plug in for the day.

if pennies were hershey kisses.

money is no object to me. i probably have a hole in my pocket. it comes and goes bringing the joy of spending. my theory: lets use chocolate as money. first, it's edible. second, i hate that everything revolves around money. we'd be lots happier if everything revolved around chocolate.

Arcadius.

that's the name of the ulcer that has been eating away at my insides for a solid two and a half months. i figured, since he has no intentions of leaving, i may as well name him. today, something really upset him. i'm not entirely sure what, but the whole time i was up at kearns high, he was abusing me.

[in case anyone wanted to know varsity won 5-0 and jv won 4-0, we're good at soccer.]

ulcers. who needs them? not i.
i wish you all a happy, ulcer-free life.

are we ashes & wine?

during these adolescent years of my life, there could be nothing worse than losing a best friend. nothing more heart-wrenching, stomach-dropping, nausea-inducing than having those few words said to you. of course, i'm not sure how to handle the situation i'm in. the best way to describe it is: i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. this is how i get out.

option a:
i keep fighting for something that i want so badly to work out. a friendship that i pray can overcome anything. because after everything we've been through in the last nine months of my life, i can't see it all ending here and now. in the mean time, i lose my sanity and my self-esteem. i constantly have to push through being told everything i do wrong, everything i never did, everything that annoys him or frustrates him. or he doesn't talk to me at all. call it the 'silent treatment' or the 'cold shoulder' whatever you please. how long will i have to bear this? months maybe.

why choose option a:
because i know how painful it is to lose a best friend. whether or not he wants me, or thinks he needs me, i don't want to put him through it. i don't want anyone to have to experience that if they don't have to.

option b:
give up. [this totally is not me] leave him behind because i need to do this for myself. say goodbye because after all, insanity is the process of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. am i losing my sanity? definitely. i've gone out of my way to be his friend. to show him that i'm not giving up. to show him that i am always here for him. he doesn't appreciate it, and considers anything nice i do 'trying to get him back'.

why choose option b:
maybe i'm wasting all of my effort on trying to make this work. if someone doesn't appreciate what i do for them, why keep doing it?

perhaps a poll isn't the appropriate way to do this.
but i'm open for opinions and suggestions.
clearly, the whole story is not present here, but i need help.
do i ride it out hoping that after months of being torn down he'll come to his senses and start acting like a real friend [option a] or does it take me leaving him for him to see how important this friendship was [option b]?

you all man crushin.

today, this made my day.

if it doesn't work

check youtube.

teach me how to jimmer.

hello, world.

I'm back.

To say the least, today was wonderful. Despite the nearly worthless reasons for Minimal Monday, I quite enjoyed it. Except for last week, I've been going to the rec center every morning at 5:30 to exercise, seeing I can't find time to exercise on a typical schedule. I had the best work out, and it felt good to get some 'iron pumping' again. How blessed I am to have a functional body.

Carter. Who else to brighten my day even more than one of my favorite teachers? He opted out on the prepared lesson to spend all our class time watching those Superbowl commercials. Our justification - its advertisement, we are in Business Management, aren't we?

Following Carter's class, I had seminary. To be honest, I have a hard time not enjoying seminary. I'm that girl that you probably can't stand, because she tries so hard to get something out of the lesson. I'm that girl that, instead of attempting to distract the teacher, pleads with the class to shut up & try to learn something. I'm that girl. However, on the occasion of Minimal Monday, we didn't have time to waste. The lesson was on section 93 of the Doctrine and Covenants. Loved it.

Brunch = Gandy's.

Need I say more?

History was spent playing a test review game of mini golf. It was pleasant, despite our team loss by more than ten points. I, for one, am not a golfer. I would not waste my time hitting a little ball with a metal pipe. I don't see any competition in that. So, I dismissed the mini-golf and ate my Circus Animal crackers.

Business math. It's hard to love anything about that class, but since she opted out on the quiz and asked us about our previous Valentine's Day, I didn't mind. Plus, I finished my homework and made plans with her to come in advisory the next day to take my test. It's open note. No big deal.

Like the chocolate syrup topping off my ice cream sundae, the sunshine walking home from school was swell and much appreciated. I then proceeded to fill up my car, with money loaned by my mom. I drove to work with the window down. Work is in Provo, so, I wasn't surprised when I rolled up to some, attractive, college boys. We'd pass each other and then slow down with the flow of traffic, but just before I turned into Mom's office, the cute one leaned out the window of his car holding his cell phone, yelling, "What's your number?" I smiled, waved goodbye and pulled in the parking lot.

My mom got a new helper at work. His name is Kerry. He was a bishop. He gave me some wonderful advice today - Kiss a lot of boys, just don't kiss one boy a lot. Thanks Kerry, I'm glad we're on a first name basis. You're peachy, you should stick around.

Invited by one of the sweetest women in the world, Sam Norton's mother, I'm seeing Phantom tonight. To be completely honest, I'm not a huge supporter of the school's productions. In fact, I haven't seen a single one. But, I've only heard good things about it, so I'm really looking forward to seeing it!

Happy Monday world.