oh, i'm every where.

my last post - Manic Monday,

was definitely a total joke.

i may or may not have completed

only one item from that list.

who's telling?

not me.

today i'm thankful for

. random i love you's

. autumn-kissed trees

. phineas & ferb

. lonnngg naps

. open note tests

. grilled cheese 

. plus tomato soup

. family prayer

justin nozuka

matt costa

how i've missed you.

what i would do for

some cake batter with 

brownie. oh for the love

of sweet coldstone.

sick of crying

maybe i'm just a baby

or maybe it really is that hard.

calculus.

"so, i know this ripple

stuff is like really cool,

but, when am i ever going 

to use it?"

"in physics"

so now, i'm going into

physics according to

mr. palmer. 

great.

indoor soccer.

so.

pumped.

well that's kind of all.

gotta read my scrips and

get some shut eye.

gooood nite america.

manic monday.

who likes monday's anyways?

tomorrow, it's one of those lame sauce minimal mondays again.

basically, the teachers are just as sick of school as we are.

how about another break? deal.

tomorrow, i'll come home from school, read about the constitution, 

write a paper about the constitution,

 and pray that i never have to read that awful book again. 

tomorrow, i will eat peanut butter. 

multiple times, probably.

tomorrow, i will be sporting a green dress.

boots, maybe, tights maybe. 

but definitely a green dress.

tomorrow, i will consider cleaning my room.

it's not too bad. but my laundry has a way of migrating

on my keyboard, and floor, and bed, and chair..

tomorrow, i will die from another cruel punishment

of unbearable lectures, and urges to snooze during calculus.

calculus? not doing so hot.

tomorrow, i will probably color

with my castle of crayons.

tomorrow, i will see danny dorius for the first time in 

four days. don't say it, i already know i'm a baby back.

tomorrow, i will lather chapstick repeatedly, because 

i got several new tubes and can't resist.

tomorrow, i will take a test for medical anatomy, and practice resisting

or ignoring the gag reflex that will be begging to present itself when i see

the disturbing images of diseases and who knows what on my 

computer screen. i might not vomit.

tomorrow, i will realize that my goal for a 4.0 is 

unachievable with calculus kicking my butt like it is.

tomorrow, i will feel the spirit.

nothing like seminary after a long weekend.

tomorrow, i want it to rain. i want it to be windy.

i want to drive up the canyon again.

tomorrow, i'll want some hot chocolate.

probably.

and i'll have some. hazelnut.

tomorrow, we might attempt our first family home evening

in such a long, long time. but, let's not get my hopes up.

someone will probably have work. like usual.

tomorrow, i'll play hymns on the piano.

tomorrow, i'll be on time to all of my classes.

time to buckle down, even though i have no motivation

whatsoever when it comes to school.

tomorrow, i'll have a cookie with breakfast.

probably. cause i can't resist mama's 

homemade chocolate chip cookies. so good.

tomorrow, i won't be in any rush to do that 3-5 page

paper for political science. i'll turn it in around 10:30 p.m.

most likely.

tomorrow, i'll slip a note into my brother's room.

he's having a rough go at life. i love him.

tomorrow, i'll be dying to visit the temple grounds.

i probably will. because God is more important than

homework, and i'll be avoiding it like the plague.

tomorrow, i'll choose to be happy.

i'll choose as hard as i can. because i want it.

tomorrow, i'll look at this list, and 

laugh, because i didn't do very much of it.

in fact, probably none. except this one.

tomorrow, i'll blog. 

probably.

because i'm addicted.

tomorrow, i'll make a frigid drive on my scooter

to the high school, because i'm lazy, and

the half-a-block walk is too much for me at the

early hours in the morn.

but hey, nothing like an icy cold wake up call.

goooood morning.

tomorrow

is just another day.

one day at a time.

right?

hope your monday is swell.

hogle zoo, we love you.

yes indeed.

this is my monkey friend.

he was really bored, and

kept smudging his face up

against the fence, and making

funny noises with his lips.

love him.

and well, i'm a 16 year old girl

who enjoys carousel rides on 

an elephant. sue me.

the joys of uncomfortable smiles.

the hogle zoo?

my second home.

let's take family pictures.

big thanks to peter

marie

cora

and penny.

loved it.

happy fall break

today, i watched three movies, ate taco amigo, watched two episodes of bones, ate mama chus, went to a movie. my eyes are boggled, and my brain is zonked, also, i'm feeling a little nauseous. no more poultry for me.

we love fall break.

one day down. right?

happy weekend.


p.s. no service is nice.
love it.

the worth of souls.

"Think of the purest, most all-consuming love you can imagine. Now multiply that love by an infinite amount—that is the measure of God’s love for you. God does not look on the outward appearance. I believe that He doesn’t care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God love encompasses us completely."

President Uchtdorf

d&c 18:10

love seminary.

learn the gospel.

live in His name.

fall break

hope yours is better than mine

the blessings of conference.

you hear the talks.
you watch the speakers.
you read them a week later.


one thing -
skip to the end.


one of my favorite parts about the talks
is not always the talk itself. but the blessings
the general authorities leave at the end of their
messages.


they know life isn't easy. they know it's a
constant battle for us, as it is for them. they know.
and they bless us, every time. they are speakers
for the Lord, and the prophets, seers and revalators.
don't underestimate the closing sentences, and blessings
they leave with us before they are done.


i dare you,
to read them.
go to lds.org.
and read the last few sentences of all the talks.
they bless us. lots. the Lord knows. he hasn't forgotten.
you WILL be blessed for your strength.


boyd k. packer
 
“Don’t look back.”

"I promise that ahead of you is peace and happiness for you and your family. The ultimate end of all activity in the Church is that a man and his wife and their children can be happy at home. And I invoke the blessings of the Lord upon you who are struggling against this terrible plague, to find the healing that is available to us in the priesthood of the Lord."

attitude of gratitude

things get hard, ya know? real hard sometimes.

unbearable even. it's frustrating and super hard

to be optimistic in these moments of difficulty.

big thanks to:

A. momma andersen, for believing in me and helping

me realize my accomplishments, and for recognizing

my struggles and respecting me for the strength i'm 

trying to have. 'i love you' texts are appreciated much.

i'm thankful for a second mom, that is very in tune with

the spirit and knew that is just what i needed to hear today.

 B. dad, after a heart felt text from dianna, i was feeling

better about where i stand, and that my efforts aren't

being completely wasted. when i got home, i found

a sweet, loving, note in my cleat that had me in tears.

"Tigger, (as my daddy calls me)

Good luck at your games today, play as hard as you

can then play a little harder. I am so proud of you and 

how you have handled this tough season, you are one

of my heros. I love you...

Dad

P.s. Have a great time at the homecoming activities

P.p.s. You are a most wonderful daughter"

the blue ink was smeared, and there was a wet spot,

my tears, or his, i didn't know, but he left for camping

and won't be home until monday or tuesday. 

every time i open the note, my eyes get blurry from the

tears pooling up, and i think of how blessed i am to have him.

i'm thankful for a dad that makes me strong and loves me

no matter what the circumstances or conditions are.

love you Dad.

C. danny dorius. in all this nonsense, he may be one of the

only people that relates to me, that i can vent to, and 

cry in front of, that understands the position i'm in. he's

here for me through it all, and supports me. he really wants

me to be happy, and i think he's really good at making me 

happy. i'm thankful for someone to talk to about anything.

someone that loves me and knows my potential.

kudos everyone,

you're so wonderful to me.

& then i realize that i'm surrounded by celestial, angelic,

servants of the Lord, all in accordance with love, and the peace

it brings in the world. they exploit the worth of souls, and hold

it up for the world to see. they stand, in search of those who 

need a helping hand, here and there. and selflessly bless the lives

of those in need. i couldn't be more grateful for their place in my life.

thank you, with all of my heart,

to anyone who has blessed my life

with their love and willingness to serve.

for lifting my burden when i was

not strong enough to carry it alone.

you mean the world to me.

he reads minds.

i had a question. concern. pickle. something. i don't know.
something that makes me sick inside. something that has me
scared for my life.  boyd k. packer, i was waiting for you.
luckily this cute, old man, graced me with his presence, and
his knowledge. he left me happy, stronger, unafraid, and
with a greater determination then ever before.


"sometimes after confessions and paying penalties, it's hard to
forgive one's self. forgiveness means forgiveness. don't look back."


conference high lights.


- simplicity is beauty
- attitude of gratitude
- don't look back
- prepare to serve
- go and do
- personal/priesthood line
- courageous parents
- remember my name
- doing work of the Lord
- trust in the Lord


i love Jesus.
i love His gospel.
i love His plan for me.
i love that He knows
my thoughts and intents.
He knows me.

my dream saturday.

sophie.
danny named her tonight. she might be venus though.
but deep deep down. she's a sophie. thanks danny.

i went to the temple grounds today. & it was beautiful. something about conference weekend brings perfect. brings still. brings fall. brings love. i lay under autumn-kissed leaves, with summer-fading sunlight streaking through the space between. the grass is soft, and cool in the shade of the tree. jon schmidt hums softly from my cell phone, and the Book of Mormon is opened to Ether 12. The gentle breeze whispers.

God loves me.
without a doubt.

happy 180th annual general conference.
it's no coincidence conference weekend is one of the
most beautiful times of the year. i love it. so do they.

blog awards? better than a state champ ring.

A.

thank you.

substance? ah, thanks miss mandi. i love miss mandi. 

i admire that she is a thrifter. i admire that she likes peanut butter

as much as i do, and hates meat too. i love that she wears blueberry 

blue mascara. andher hair is so long. and she's a creeper, 

which i absolutely love the most. we're pals.

thanks miss mandi.

B.

me?

well, i don't really know if i have a style. or at least i couldn't 

explain my style to someone else. i guess i've been inspired.

kudos to my idols, they've helped me become who i am.

 but

more importantly,

 i am who i am, and i'm happy with it. 

& i'm okay about that.

C.

how about two people?

yes. two is good too.

Megan: because we exchange awkward 'i-blog-stalk-you' smiles in the hall

and we enjoy every single second of it. also, she's the one that got me blogging

in the first place. bless your heart megan, you're golden in my book.

[is it bad if my life goal is to have a blog as cute as hers?]

and

Cailey: because i've never said a word to her in my life, but i think she is 

absolutely hysterical. her blog? i stalk it frequently, and wait impatiently for

her next post. we could be best friends one day. thanks for an enjoyable blog.

[post soon please, i'm waiting]

listen

to them.
tenth avenue north.

this one.
and
this one.

love them.

i wanna win

senior night.
sorry girls, but there is only one senior i will miss really,
and that's jenna dobry, better known as karen.


miss her like crazy,
but i'm proud of the girl.
& i'm glad she did something 
for herself. that's more than
i would have the gutts to do.


love you jenna.
i miss folding.
i miss bench warming.
i miss little cezars. 


we're going to state. ha, okay, maybe if by some miracle
a comet strikes alta high school and destroys their soccer
team, maybe if we miraculously pull out a W on jordan.
maybe if all the other teams sucked. maybe if we could
find the back of the net.




oh, can i just say how hot it was today?
real hot.
melting hot on the turf.
and then i was running.
hotter.
dripping sweat from every pore.
eyelids sweating.
so hot.
wait?
it's september.


can i please just have a good three months of fall?
it's the prettiest. i love the wind. i love the cloudy skies,
i love the turning leaves. i love the canyon drives. i love
hot cocoa in my frozen fingers. i love sweaters, and 
scarves. i love warm socks. autumn, come fast, stay long.
i love you.


new room.
it's yellow, turquoise, black, and white. love it.
especially the window when the sun sets, it dyes
my room a turqoise-y color. love that. wanna
see it? ha, nope, too cool.


also, october ninth needs to hurry up.
also, october eleventh is going to be a good day.
also, two more games.
also, i hate homework.
also, i have a cool tattoo.
also, zupas sounds really good.
also, the word 'also' is starting to sound weird.

lots to say.
all over the place.
so thirsty.
all the time.

so i don't like meat.

what's wrong with you?


sorry i'm not thirsting for that baby cow's
raw, uncooked, bloody, pink, momma, grilled to go.
sue me.