she:

she's 5'7, blonde, tan, and plays soccer.
aka: boys, hit her up, i forgot to mention the best part,
she's seventeen and single.
that's right, my best friend.

today was her happy happy 17th. 
awh, she's all grown up! i can't
believe it's junior year, and we've 
managed to get by since third grade!


lydia andersen: she's an incredible example,
close to God, intelligent, creative, athletic,
hard working, and a true friend.
i can turn to her for absolutely anything, and
i know she'll be there for me.








she likes:
mexican - we eat bajio & costa.
hot chocolate - her own
soccer - one of the best players i know.
piano - taught herself.
singing - humble, but an incredible voice.
chocolate - specifically peanut m&ms.
purple - probably one of her favorite colors.
the gospel - she has a testimony that blows me away.
drawing - never met anyone that draws like her.
fourwheeling - since we were little.
food - she'll be a chef.
music - she introduced me to the majority of my style.
dresses - all in all, she has the CUTEST outfits ever.

when we were in fifth grade:
"lydia, do you think God sent us here to be friends?"


right now:
i have no doubt in my mind that God sent us here to be friends.
in fact, i'm certain we were best friends in heaven. maybe we 
lived next to each other, maybe she taught me how to play soccer,
and play piano. maybe she's just one of those angels sent here in 
disguise to bless the lives of others. i'd like to think so. 


















lydia andersen. she's my best friend in the whole world.
she never ceases to inspire me. i honestly don't know who
i would be without her. she completely altered my life, and
i can truly say she has left the biggest impact.


thank you.
for being my best friend.

antsy.

itchy. anxious. excited.
one word: homecoming.


dress: check.
date: check.
[i should answer him back]


october ninth. please come
faster. i've got a realllll good
feeling that it's going to be an 
incredible night.


thank you danny dorius.
peanut butter & jelly.

the scene.

still water reflects

the star scattered sky

& the moonshine neglects

the grass where we lie.

the wind whispers gently

of always and forever.

a murmured melody

of a love-lit endeavor.

but,

unremarkable: the scene.

dull and matchless

compared to he,

his love, a promise.

[debating the last stanza.

something sounds wrong,

and i can't make it work.

it's driving me crazy.]

addictions anonymous.

lets face it. i'm addicted to a lot of things. these addictions are getting the best of me. but i can't help it. so sign me up for the next fill-in-the-blank-aholics anonymous.

fill in the blank 1: chocolate. in any form. mostly ice cream, frozen yogurt, or milk shake. typical girls like chocolate, a minority love it, and then there's a few people that have yet to control their mad desires, like me, that are flat out addicted. sue me, if i can't resist the sweet taste of chocolate in my mouth.

fill in the blank 2: mexican. no, i'm not addicted to mexicans, i'm addicted to their wonderful food. costa vida, and bajio for example, are two of my favorite places to eat. i wouldn't be surprised if they started preparing my ensalada beforehand, knowing that i'll be there. last school year, i set a record. most money spent on myself, and my friends, when going for lunch. bajio was the spot. and i paid.

speaking of paying.
fill in the blank 3: spending money. less on myself, and as often as possible on others. yeah, i'm addicted to loaning money, and asking for none in return. it makes me happy. and for some reason, i never seem to run out. i think the man upstairs is watching out for me on this one.

fill in the blank 4: soccer&work. i'll put these two in one category, cause if i'm not at work, i'm at soccer, and if i'm not at soccer, i'm at work. it's a treacherous cycle that can't be prevented. i love it though. i figured that i'm one of those people that have to be busy. i have no desire to sit at home and watch reruns of hannah montana. now if it's phineas and ferb, there may be an exception. but, if you ever need to find me, i'm either at the pool, lifeguarding, teaching swim lessons, or visiting bossman joe, or jessi, or, i'm about 100 yards further up the drag, melting on the lava-hot turf field.

fill in the blank 5: peanut butter. yeah. i put it on everything. it's a core part of every meal of the day. [unless i'm having mexican, that might be weird] peanut butter on toast is usually my breakfast. and lunch. sometimes i put in a little more effort, and spread on some homemade strawberry jam for dinner. key word: sometimes. i like to put peanut butter on my peanut butter chip granola bar. yum. basically, if it has peanut butter, i'll eat it.

[if you haven't noticed, food is a large part of my life.]

i feel like facebook and blogging should be somewhere in my top five, but out of complete embarrassment, i'll pretend that the hype of frequent blog stalking, or updates in the fb world doesn't even phase me. [lies, i check them daily. sometimes, hourly.] psh, who needs a social life anyways, when i've got all the sources for my psychotic obsessions? [me, obviously. since i can't resist the pop of an instant message, or a red notification flag.]

i need help.
maybe a professional.

the seventh day, we rest.

say goodbye to the summer skies.

it's a sunday.
was. was a sunday. today is monday. and it's just after midnight.
i went for a drive to a park. i sat in the car with the windows rolled down so i could feel the rain and wind. i read in Moses, and thought an awful lot about Jesus, and the creation. word from the weather man is sundays are always the prettiest. even in a storm. the clouds are always incredible, but when the sun hits them just right, they change colors. i sat in the rain under a pink cloud. are you jealous?



i like moses. he's a real good person. i'm thinking maybe one day, i can be like Moses. you know, the way he is in similitude of Christ. the way he doesn't give in to satan's temptations. i try to imagine what it would be like to be transfigured and stand in the presence of God. there aren't words to describe it.


tenth avenue north sang me a song today.
they call it By Your Side. annnndd i like it a lot.
in fact. i looked up the chords and learned it on the guitar.
kudos for ultimate-guitar.com, tabs galore.


i got to third nephi in my book of mormon scripture study. it's one of my favorite books. especially when Christ comes and teaches the people, and blesses the children, and the angels come down and preach to them.
and i try to imagine what it would be like to have Jesus give me a blessing. i love Him. and i know for certain He loves me. or else i wouldn't have the pretty sky to look at, or the trees. and he wouldn't answer my prayers.

i like sundays & church a whole lot.

raindrops falling on my head.

rainy day sounds:
norah jones.
regina spektor.

it's one of those, hoodie, sweats
& ice cream days. if you feel the
urge, i wouldn't turn down a hug.

stormy stormy.
the ditch is flooded.
i propose puddle jumping.
maybe some hot chocolate
and warm, dry socks after.

summer

you came with the season as the first swallow sang
a brown headed stranger with a five letter name
we planted our kisses where the wildberries grow
my feet sprouted wings and i flew all the way home

love song

if you'd ask me for my heart,
there's no way that i'd say no.

you know those love songs that say
everything you want say in a sorta
cliché manner? those are my favorite
right about now.



here are some

: goot -
i love your existance

: rocket to the moon -
like we used to

: plug in stereo -
oh darling

: colbie caillat -
the little things

obituary:

i admit i had considered taking his life. he never really responded to me, and had a knack of keeping me up all night. i suppose he could have been a little sour from lack of attention. but anorexia wasn't the way i wanted him rolling over. and certainly not in a pile of his nitrogenous waste (thanks vandijk.) but, i guess it spared me the trouble.

r.i.p. trev.
i hope in heaven you actually learn to eat the food your given and you're not quite as picky.
if it weren't for my two dogs that
would have happily brought you up
from the ground, i would have loved to given you a proper burial.
but instead, the options were:
a. a nice ride in the dump truck today.
or
b. shredded up in the garbage disposal.

i'm not one for gruesome deaths, the poor guy already had to put up with me for almost a year. option a. please. i hope the walls of your confinement in fish heaven aren't 5 inches in diameter. roam free.

i get real happy when []

[i get a crisp dollar bill.]
[i discover an 'undiscovered' band.]
[i get an email from coldstone.]
[i get the perfect combination of ice and water to drink]
[i finally understand the joke]
[i unexpectedly receive chocolate]
[i look at home videos or scrapbooks]
[i act childish]
[i feel the spirit]
[i open a new pack of gum or paper]
[i get to buy people things]
[i get big hugs]
[i can sit in hot & rainy weather]
[i play card games]
[i put on my glasses to read]
[i get kids to 'bust it']
[i can smell salsa, jerky, or garlic bread]
[i remember my dreams]
[i can help]
[i learn new piano songs]
[i conquer my uncoordinated hands and catch something]
[i get my fish to respond to me]
[i put on socks straight from the dryer]
[i eat fruit snacks, roll ups, or drink juice boxes]
[i wake up from naps]
[i roast perfect marshmallows]
[i get notes in class]
[i blog about things that make me happy]
[i hear songs like these:]

he:

apple, warhawk, semco, in 'n out, piano, & coldplay, is clay ellis in a nut shell. he's a big boy now, all grown up turning 17. clayton is an inspiration to me. he's an incredible person, always optimistic. he's very intelligent and continues to teach me everyday. he's prime for encouraging awkward moments & can tell you everything you will ever need to know about the latest technological advances. he and i share the worlds most firm, solid, and perfect handshake. there's no competition. we like kneaders, and going for drives on my scooter.

clay, you're number one in my book.
happy birthday!

the pleasurable pg pool treats me well.

i have an addiction.

fifty cent, chocolate, soft serve, ice cream.
welcome to the pg pool snack bar, heaven on earth.
thanks to our snack bar girls, i usually don't go a day
without it. kudos girls, you make my world go round.

My attempts to beat my addiction have fail miserably.
Looks like I'll just have to put up with it for a little longer.. dang.

ghost adventures.

sometimes i watch it at night.
in my basement.
in the dark.
by myself.

practically begging to get scared.
issues?
yes.
but i love it.

i accidentally pressed something on the remote
and the television turned purple. i blame a ghost.
& i'm pretty sure i've never ran up my stairs so fast.
maybe i'll sleep with the lights on tonight,
and read a couple extra chapters in my scriptures.

roll the credits.

big thanks to:

danny dorius.
for helping me complete another item off
my summer bucket list & providing a
firework show from the view of a life time.

lydia andersen.
for a much needed chat regarding the boys
that keep our summer interesting.
just the start to another wonderful saturday.

matt hock & joe dorius.
for supplying the entertainment from 2 - thin.
& helping me recognize that my obsessions over
their "female folk" are a little bit creepy (:

kevin fonseca.
for kneaders this morning. when he shared the last
piece of all-you-can-eat french toast with me &
enjoying some small chat that we've missed out on.


when you think about it,
sometimes people go out
of their way to make your
day absolutely wonderful.

thanks(:

bucketlist.

01: compose a song.

02: write someone a detailed letter of how much they mean to me.

03: drive barefoot.

04: finish the Book of Mormon(fifth time around).

05: go camping - in my backyard (campfire & ghost stories included).

06: paint my room.

07: see a midnight movie - from start to finish.

08: enjoy a picnic on a roundabout at 10:13 p.m.

09: bear my testimony ten times.

10: make cookies for a complete stranger.

11: make a habit to run at 6:30 a.m.

12: eat pez on bleachers at a baseball park.

13: sing at the top of my lungs on stand.

14: go down a slide head first.

15: climb the pine trees at THE park & play night games.

16: go running at night.

17: doorbell ditch successfully (preferably black bagging)

18: beat my addiction, go with out ice cream for a week.

19: give somebody a pet fish.

20: jump in a mud puddle barefoot.

21: blog consecutively for a week.

22: make this blog public (not likely)

23: ditch the poem dryspell, and write ten more.

24: learn stick shift.

25: drive stick shift successfully.

26: play soccer every single day.

27: dance under the fireworks.

28: go snorkling, in a wet suit, down provo river.

29: purchase chacos.

30: run through sprinklers at a park.

31: give somebody a Book of Mormon.

32: sit on my roof at midnight.

33: watch a meteor shower from the mountains.

34: drive up AF canyon.

35: eat some place i've never been.

36: go to the rodeo, like a cowgirl.

37: win a thumb war against Danny Dorius.

38: see a drive-in movie.

39: pull an all nighter, no caffeine, no candy.

40: jump on Nate Porter's trampoline, just because.

41: call an old friend to say hi.

42: say "we'll do lunch," because i want to sound cool.

43: eat at Denny's at 4 a.m.

44: drink Nesquik's banana milk.

45: blow a bubble as big as i can.

46: play hopskotch with sidewalk chalk.

47: start a fire, by myself.

48: give my beenie babies to the children in primary children's hospital.

49: graffiti something, and get away with it.

50: write my name on the G, after i hike to it.

51: find a cave.

52: maybe catch a snake, if i'm not too scared.

53: summer romance.

54: get a grass stain, from rolling down a hill.

55: window paint someone's car.

56: make someone breakfast, for no reason.

the list goes on, new additions every day.

my latest achievement: #19.