day two: that happily ever after

people have asked me if i really know what love is.
of course not. but i know what it is right now. love will never be the same thing. it's unconditional. it's real. it's unexpected and comes when we're unaware. love is not easy. it does not make everything perfect, it does not solve all of your problems. love is honest and kind.

one day, i'll know eternal love too.

but the story of my first love probably goes a little like this: you know his name. danny dorius. he was in my guitar class A4 the end of my sophomore year. i was oblivious, and overcoming a heartbreak that was harder than i could have ever imagined. it was the simple intervening in my life that started it. he usually sat behind me, with the kids that could play Muse on the guitar. i was oblivious. one didn't have to put in any extra effort to get an A in that class, so the majority of my class time was in the closet playing the piano. summer was nearing, and my procrastination got the best of me. i applied late for work at the PG pool, predicting that my last name would get me a spot. i had hopes to be a lifeguard and a swim teacher this year, though i was completely unprepared.

we were cleaning up one day, stacking chairs and putting away our guitars when he came up to me. he told me that the list was posted on the doors of the pool and my name was on it. he told me about the lifeguarding class i would have to take and pass in order to actually get the job. i was kind of on probation. i probably thanked him, and continued on my day. small talk about the boys soccer season was the extent for the rest of the school year. we shared stories, laughed a bit, but i thought nothing of it.

 school ended and at last, it was the summer of 2010. it was going to be the most memorable summer yet, one guaranteed i wouldn't forget. miraculously, i got the job, i'm sure my last name saved me a spot. either way, i was in, and quickly sold my soul to the pool with promises of skin cancer, permanent smells of chlorine, and countless hours spent staring at the reflection of the sun. i didn't teach swim lessons the first session, but i life guarded them. usually exhausted, i didn't pay super close attention.

session two rolled around and i offered to be a substitute for any days in the session, before long i was signed up to sub for jade. she was nice, a little bossy and controlling, perhaps she'd already spent too much time in the sun. before the class started my boss came around switching sub sheets, and i got one for danny dorius's class. the sub he requested was a girl named summer, but she wouldn't make it that day. he left explanations and lesson plans for each class. i was nervous, it was my first time teaching, and these kids didn't know who i was. i was relieved when a level one class with only two kids rolled around. their names were lexi and froggie. yes, froggie. i remember the instructions saying, 'lexi doesn't always listen, and froggie likes to run away sometimes,' but i quickly dismissed them figuring two students couldn't be that bad.

boy. i was wrong. they must have plotted against me because at the exact same moment, they'd run opposite directions, one heading deeper into the water. i rounded them up and decided the best way to keep their attention was to play games. over and over and over again. worthless sub, i couldn't even teach a class of two kids.

the next day i was life guarding swimming lessons. danny was back, but something was different. i saw him walk through the doors and i couldn't wait to tear him up for not warning me about his two wretched kids he was teaching. when froggie and lexi came for their lessons, i was life guarding on the chair right above them. i looked down at danny, and he smiled back.

whoa.


love at first sight? not necessarily, but that really thew me. i was subbing his classes the day before because he was getting his braces off. so here's the thing, i see him shirtless everyday. sure, the kid has a really attractive body, but the thing that caught me, was his smile. i felt like i was in shock, like maybe i needed to double whistle and get my head guard over here to help me before i faint. [i'm not exaggerating.] perhaps the majority of my scanning consisted of danny from then on. i'd look around for drowning fetuses, and then spend a minute or two just watching him. i probably smiled to myself like a total creep.

part of me was thinking, he was sitting behind me in guitar all that time and i never saw it. the other part of me was thinking, i have got to talk to him. now. i used froggie and swim lessons for an ice breaker, i probably threw in a little small talk about soccer, but before i knew it, i was flirting like mad. i spent the following weekend at my youth conference, with jenna questioning me about him, and when i got home, his older sister amy asked me too.

so i had a crush. big whoop... ha, a crush, such a silly word. i was a love-sick puppy.

before long, we were getting Gandy's together and making ice cream runs. we'd hang out maybe once or twice a week, and then more. we became best friends. we'd rotate next to each other when we were life guarding, and i probably traded shifts so i could work the same one as him. but nothing. so i did it, i got his cell phone number from the lifeguard list and texted him, thinking all the time i was a freak, and that i totally just ruined everything. not. even. close.

and that's how it started.