it's like, do i even know how to blog?

i'm not going to pretend that my last post
isn't still true. but things are slowly getting
better. i think i have a phobia of being
abandoned. which only made that night harder.

we're only best friends now. thankfully that.
i understand why, and i know it's right. but
that doesn't make it any easier. it's hard to
put those feelings aside. but i think we need
it. for one minute. to just be best friends.

ladies and gentlemen.
danny dorius is the best person i've ever met.
he's unlike any best friend i have known.
i'm not going to say i don't love him. because i
really do. but the love is different now. and it
feels right. maybe all these tears are from joy.
at this point, i'm not sure. but i can only be
thankful that he's still here for me, and that he
is always going to be my best friend, no matter
what. i've never felt this way before, but with
someone like him, it makes sense. he's that
someone that i can look up to, the one that
makes me want to be a better person, the one
that strengthens my testimony, the one that
gives me hugs because i'm having a hard time.
the one that is trying to do the right thing, even
if it's hard. the one that puts God first and wants
to be a good example, and wants to help others.
he someone that is optimistic, in all of the hard
times, and sincerely wants you to be happy
being you, and doing what you do. he's someone
that makes you laugh, even when you're crying.
and promises to tease you for the rest of your
life on earth. he's the one that tries to understand
and tries to do whatever he can. he's someone
that is safe, and you can trust yourself with.
he's someone that cheers you up, and will argue
with you just because he's got a solid debate.
he won't go easy on you all the time, and isn't
afraid to open the door or say thank you. he's
polite and considerate. he's my best friend and
i look up to him so much.

thank the heavens for best friends.

sorry that i've been so infrequent

with blogging. and if you're my mom,

sorry that i've been so infrequent

with laundry and cleaning my room.

a little update.

i am: soon to be lacking in wisdom teeth.

i m: trying to get decent grades on finals.

i am: listening to chase coy & dboard confessionals.

i am: working on making God a part of my daily life.

i am: hoping for a quick week before christmas break.

i am: learning what optimism is in hard times.

i am: trying to make money for christmas.

i am: spending money for christmas.

i am: driving around on empty.

i am: failing foods. who even does that?

i am: considering cleaning my room & doing laundry.

i am: trying to fix an ulcer. if it's even fixable.

i am: eating a lot of snickerdoodle cookies.

i am: counting down till christmas. 16 days.

i am: praying for snow.

i am: really wishing i knew how to snowboard.

i am: so ready for second semester.

i am: craving a new wardrobe.

i am: so sick of sneezing all the time.

i am: procrastinating homework of course.

i am: trying real hard to be happy.